The culmination of the Ph.D. is supposed to be the creation of an independent and self-sufficient scientist who can continue to contribute to the scientific enterprise.
"At first, I didnt tell anyone. I faked the funk. I didnt want their pity. I didnt want them saying, 'well Im so sorry,' while thinking, 'glad it wasnt me.'"
Finding your perfect job is like running an experiment. First, you read "the literature"--that is, you familiarize yourself with the research that has already been done.
People don't leave because they can't cut it; they leave because they find some other place that welcomes them, lets them express themselves, and rewards them according to their merits.